The Monster Inside

A couple of weeks ago I noticed something interesting about my workouts. When I do only cardio in the morning I feel energized and I do not fall into an afternoon slump. When I workout back and biceps I feel strong, tall and invincible. When I workout chest and triceps I feel like some aggressive monster. This is really a weird feeling that I have noticed. Greg and I rolled out of bed this morning and worked out chest and did some triceps. After our workout I noticed I was in a hurry this morning to get ready and get to work. I skipped breakfast, shot my green food in a flash, and drove to work as if I was Tony Stewart. I got in the office and started reorganizing things and getting ready for what is going to be a very long day.

I am curious as to how this works. What is it about certain muscle groups that put you into a different frame of mind? When I was doing a lot of yoga exercises I felt like I had really good balance, I sat tall and I went about my day with little effort. Between abusing my punching bag last night and working out my chest today, I feel like I am going to growl at anyone who walks into my office today. This might be a good day for me to keep my door closed.

So I think I might have it figured out now as to what I need. If I am going to be facing a tough day where some heads may have to roll than I need to work out my chest in the morning. If I am going to have a long day and need a lot of energy than I should run that morning and if I need to repress this monster that is creeping its ugly, NASCAR racing attitude than I need to get home, drop and do fifty and end the day with some yoga.

Grow up already

Some days I feel like I am still sixteen years old. Other days I look around at my office or snap to reality when I drive into Greg and I's driveway and realize that I am no longer sixteen. And that fact became so apparent to me on Monday when Greg and I met with our financial advisor. Talk about whip lash into the present moment. We talked about our 401(k), Money Market Account, IRA's and "Future children". It was a comfort to know that we were moving in the right direction and that financially we would be in good shape, but we had to talk about some things that were really hard for me.

Our advisor asked me, "Natalie, if Greg were gone tomorrow what would you need in order to take care of yourself?" I almost could not speak. I had not expected the strong reaction that I was feeling. I looked down at the desk for a moment because I was afraid that I was going to cry. Greg, gone? Not something that I can easily think of and not something I have been making plans for. My idea since we married has been that we would grow old together, and if he passed before me, I would not be far behind. My poor heart I am afraid would give out without him here with me. Once I felt that I could say it, I told our advisor that I would want out of the house. That is our house and I can not imagine being there without him. The house never feels like home when Greg is out of town, so if I had to live there without him for good, I could not do it. Man, I never imagined that I would become so attached to someone. I have always felt like I could take care of myself and that no matter what I would be okay. Greg could run off and join the circus, I would call him crazy, but I would be okay. If he were to die my heart would break before my very eyes.

This whole financial planning has put me in a complete review of my life right now. I am thinking of all of my selfish career goals, my desires to write and how we will send out children to college, after we begin paying off the loan we will take out to send them to a prep school when they are little. I so desperately want to be sixteen again. The only thing I want to worry about is studying for a history test and what I am going to do over the weekend. I do not want to have financial accounts all over the place, people depending on me to tell them the best solution for their GIS needs or getting the house clean. I felt a little overwhelmed the other day and I finally just told myself, to grow up already. Here you are, you have a great life and you are happy. At least I have a 401(k) to be concerned about. I am getting somewhere in this life and I am taking the love of my life with me.... Along with all of his money,too.

Some Days I am a Toad
But I am hoping to be kissed by a prince

The last couple of weeks have gone by in hast and a bit of a blur. Just when you think summer time means lazy days and picking flowers, I have found that it is something all together different. It is lots of deadlines, house repairs, friend and family marriages, family vacations, dates with the washer and dryer, visits to the vet, financial advisor, constant out of town conferences and room for one haircut this summer.

My boss has often referred to me as organized and having everything together. I realized this week that I organized myself into complete disorganization. I forgot some important things this week, had to rearrange my schedule because of it and by Tuesday I was feeling pretty low about it all.

In order to fix all of this, I have spent some time this week streamlining some things I do and getting BETTER organized. I think I have created a system that might work. I am going to see how it goes this month. I have cleaned out my email accounts, dumped junk in my office and this weekend I will be spending some time on my home office. There just seems to be this endless list of things to do. My job is one that can take up about twenty hours of the day. That does not leave room for a lot of other things. So, I took a look at some of the things I do, what was really important to me and I have let some things go.

Now it is Friday. I have a plan in place to getting my stuff together. I feel almost like a new woman. And I should, because before he flew off to Vegas last night, I was kissed by a prince.

Plan of Attack

Today has just been one of those days. I have a lot of things that really need to get attention, but it is Friday afternoon, it is my husband's birthday and my nephew's birthday, I have not seen hubby since Wednesday morning and I am ready for the busy weekend we are about to have. So, needless to say, this has been the most unproductive day I have had in a long time. Unproductive in the sense of work, very productive in the sense of attack.

For April Fool's Day my boss played a mean joke on me. And I fell for it. So, I have been thinking of a way to get him back and with his wife's help that is exactly what our entire office did today. My boss recently bought an Escalade that is his reselling to a college freshman. He drove it to work today since it was to be the last day we would all see it. That is where the bright idea came for us to get his keys, move the car and have someone call and tell him that the car had been stolen, involved in a high speed chase and was now totaled. One of my co-workers said the only way he would fall for it was if his wife called and gave him the news. So, we enlisted her help and before we knew it he was on the phone, scrambling to the window and speaking very loud. It was both scary and thrilling at the same time. The downside is that none of us can keep a straight face long enough. So, he got himself together and started asking who did it, and who was involved. Little did he know the entire office was in on. He admitted that we got him and we felt good. We have tried to play jokes on him before and it never works. I think he must have specialized in reading people because he knows what a certain pitch in your voice means and the way you stand. Very alarming at times, yet he is always right.

We think one reason that we pulled this over on my boss was because his attention was on finding out why two guys were walking through our offices last night taking inventory. When we each got our offices this morning our blinds were closed, large items moved around and everything seemed misplaced. Our building supervisor said there had been no schedule for anyone to come in and take inventory on anything. So now we all sit on the edge of our seats, look behind our doors and hope that we are wise when our boss decides to get us back.

In Town and Out

I am so excited about this! There is a bus that connects with Marta, which has a stop by my office and I rode it this morning. I was so pleased. I strongly encourage alternate transportation, mass transit, whatever you want to call it, but it has never really been available to me to ride from home to work. That is until now. So I hopped myself up this morning and took a ride on the commuter Xpress which makes stops between my office and the Marta station near my house.

The morning started off great. The driver was very nice, the bus was very clean and comfortable and it took the same amount of time for me to get to work, riding the bus as it does when I drive in. Wonderful!!!

I know I will not be able to take the bus every day because there are days where I have meetings and things that require me to drive. As for the days that I can, I will be taking the bus and I could not be more excited about it.