Friday, July 28, 2006

Sugar Rush

Well judging by my visit this week it looks like I do have Gestational diabetes that went undiagnosed. That explains why folks eyes pop when they see me from the side, why my baby probably weighs almost nine pounds right now and why I have two and half times the amount of fluid for the little rascal to swim around in right now.

So, to make things better, our midwife recommended that I go into labor on my own in the next two weeks.... Hmm... Can I order that up, schedule it on my calendar? Or can I just take a pill for that. She has recommended a pill; Evening Primrose oil to be exact.

Before I ran out and bought a bottle of it, I read about it online and there are some strange ways to take this stuff. From what my midwife said she wanted me to take it orally. From what I read online there are much more affective ways of using this herb. I have yet to do any of them. The goal here is for my cervix to be ready to go. Right now, this kid is not going anywhere. I am still carrying him pretty high, my Braxton Hicks are not painful and I have yet to have any sign of a real contraction. A lot has to happen in two weeks. Now, just as a side note, Evening Primrose is also suggested as good treatment for premenstrual conditions, as indicated on the bottle.

So, in addition to the Evening Primrose, I have been banned from sugar entirely and that is a hard thing for me. Sugar is by far my downfall. I think I must have the worst sweet tooth there could be. I was doing great all day yesterday, but early in the evening when I got home, I wanted something sweet so badly. So, I made a blueberry cobbler with Splenda... Well, it is a start. And just to make things worse, while I was on the way to work this morning I drove up beside a Dunkin Donuts truck and I thought it was only because I can not have sugar that I am seeing this. Well, just to twist the knife in my chest, while I was sitting next to the Dunkin Donuts truck a Hostess Cupcake truck went through the light in front of us. I knew that someone was trying to torture me. I have never even seen a Dunkin Donuts truck before this morning. I think these next two weeks are going to be more difficult than I thought.

So, I do not want to hear or see anything else about Twinkies, Ho-hos, Swiss Cakes, Brownies, Chocolate ice cream or anything else that is sweet... My fat little man and I can not have it.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hee, Hee, whewwwww

Greg and I have successfully completed the birthing class, or the right of passage better known as "Get Ready To Get Scared Out Of Your Mind". If you are interested, the first thing I learned is that ten centimeters is soooooo much larger than I thought. Our name tags were ten centimeters around and our instructor told us that you can not even begin pushing until you reach that size. I wanted to raise my hand and ask if I was really going to become that size. I mean, seriously, that whole dilating deal would have been very helpful during my first experience with intercourse... Well, let me take that back. I think any change in size in that area is just painful no matter what. Sometimes it sucks to be a woman.

Breathing- This is incredibly important and so is distraction. I am hoping that I can have a circus in my delivery room or a famous comedian. If I have to lay back and think about the watermelon that I am trying to pass I might not make it.

Birthing Coach- Dads, friends, moms, whoever these are- you must be the best and here is your job description; Must love babies, have strong hands for massaging, soft bones in your fingers so that when mom squeezes, your bones do not break, ability to breath "hee, hee, whewww" without passing out, no aversion to blood, crying, moaning, cursing or the placenta. Quick with the ice chips, no sign of a camera until mom is fully rested and has applied make-up. Door Bouncer is a must! Keep all visitors out while mom is doing the additional labor intensive job of learning to breastfeed if that is what she elects to do. Do not, under any circumstances tell her to relax. You might end up with a black eye.

Natural childbirth- Complete and total crap. I won't even go there and I won't even try it. I bow and applaud every woman, such as my own mother who delivered without a cocktail or some form of pain management. I, however want nothing to do with it and I am not ashamed to admit it. I do not like pain, try not to put myself through it so I will be asking for narcotics or whatever they will offer me when I begin passing a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon.

C-Sections- Every bit as scary as vaginal births. Why can't they just knock us all out when we deliver babies??? That would be so nice.

30 Hour labors- If I have one, someone will pay and pay dearly.

Birthing Ball- Gift from heaven, right after that happy hour you can have when you get to the hospital.

Self inducing labor- Good luck! Walk a lot and have lots of sex the last few weeks.

Swelling- It never stops.... My hands and feet have gone from 4 times there normal size to 10 times their normal size... I need some new shoes and I can no longer make a fist. But, hey it is not my face that has swelled this much so I should not complain.

Reward for all of these things- A beautiful, healthy baby. I am ready to meet mine

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Total Geekdom

I have felt since I graduated from college that my field was special. And when I say special I mean that it is full of dorks. I use to tease my husband because he is an engineer by training and trade. I have since learned that I never should have gone there. I am sure that my field is full of more Bugs Bunnies and Daffy Ducks than his pocket protecting engineering crowd.

In this day and age, I think most folks know a thing or two about GIS (Geographic Information Systems), thanks to the folks at Google Earth. Google has shed a whole new light on an industry that is over thirty years in the making.

So, a colleague of mine sent an email out today with an interesting link. I read through most of them and just shook my head. Unreal what is out there. I think most of the kids who use to play Dungeons and Dragons are GIS Geeks. See for yourself-

What happens when GIS and Tolkien nerds collide

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

That is not a baby! That is a 15 pound bowling ball

I may have become the ultimate bad mommie before my baby is even born. I failed the hour glucose test and somehow managed to pass the three hour test to my surprise as well as my doctor's. Given my history with low blood sugar issues, I was warned that it would creep up again when I had children. Honestly I did not believe it. I have had a relatively easy pregnancy from the start and generally I do not have health issues anyway so I feel as though I am ten feet tall and bullet proof.

Well, it turns out I am not ten feet tall and bullet proof, however my son might be. I started my two week appointments last week and the midwife I was seeing measured the enormous mound of a belly I have now and said, "Well, dear you are now measuring two weeks ahead." I did not like the sound of that because four weeks before that I was measuring one week ahead, now two. That could not be good.

Then, our little guy decided that he did not want anyone to find his heartbeat. Before I could feel him, that made me a little nervous, but he had just been doing flips before I came into the examining room so I was sure he was still kicking it in there. From what I have gathered babies do not like that Doppler used to check their heartbeat. Now that I know what that swishing sound is, I feel a little bad. My little man was running from that gel coated instrument that was trying to let us hear his tiny heart race. Poor guy. So, the midwife found his heartbeat about three inches below my breast plate which made her think he was breech. Great, that is just great. I knew he was trying to tell me something when he kept kicking me around when I laid on my left side. He was flipping over and trying to get back into his natural position was all I could think.

So, another ultra sound was going to be done. I was excited and sad at the same time. Absolutely excited at the thought of seeing my son again, but sad because Greg was not there to see it too. The ultra sound began and I was so shocked at how different he looked. At one time you could see his entire body on the screen. Now his head took up the whole screen. He was flailing his hands around his ears so I felt bad for him because I knew he was not enjoying this as much as I was.

The first thing I noticed about him was that his profile no longer looked anything like me. Greg and I had compared the images from the first couple of ultra sounds and his profile looked somewhat like me. When I saw his profile this last time the first thing I thought was I was going to give birth to a little Greg. There was no doubt about that.

The second thing I realized that he was big. He had been measuring at 50% which was right where he should be. He was now measuring 75%, however he was not breech. I was happy about that. His estimated weight was 5 lbs 12 ounces..... I really did not think that could be. I still had 8 weeks to go. To add to the mix, I had increase fluid. Well, isn't this just great? I knew my blood pressure, which had stayed normal would certainly raise now.

So, it looks like I am going to give birth to King Kong. My stars, he is going to come out smoking and slapping the nurse around. After talking with my midwife, we are going to closely monitor this little guy for now. In four weeks we will do another ultra sound and start talking about a new birthing plan. Thanks to my issues with processing sugar, I may not have to carry him to the end of August and well that would be just fine with me. Besides, I am getting really hot now and maternity clothes are beginning to fit way too snuggly for me.

Now, I think I will have another Dr. Pepper and start picking out his going home outfit.