I am not on top of the world, I am on top of my desk

I noticed a very disturbing theme. My entries became all about how busy and stressed out I was with work and I neglected to mention really great things about life. While, I may not be on top of the world, I am on top of desk. I mean that in a figurative way. I have wrapped up all of the things that were lingering from last week. The main thing I have to do now is a conference call this evening, yes this evening. And finalize some application work for a grant. Yeee-hawwww

While my email inbox is clean and my desk almost is, my home projects are not. Our house is a wreck because Cassie, our beautiful cocker spaniel has decided her new favorite thing is to roll in fresh grass clippings and bring them all in the house. I want a flatscreen monitor for our computer as well as a new faucet for the kitchen sink. There is also an annoying stump in the back yard that the hubby and I complained about last night while we sipped beer as we sat on our Atlanta Falcons bench. Yup, house stuff will be my obsession for a while. So will that darn IKEA catalog. I have flipped through it several times now and in my head I have completely redecorated our entire house around my favorite pieces. That is not healthy because we just spent a boat load of money on floors and furniture. Do not worry, dear- I did redecorate our house around the new couch that you love so much.

But the biggest things I am really excited about right now, simply are life. This past weekend some friends and I gave one of our dearest a baby shower. It was the first time I had seen her with her bump, as well as the first time I had seen our latest prego with her bump. It was a completely weird mixture of feelings for me because the hubby and I had a baby talk this weekend which was concluded with us both agreeing that we just are not ready for babies. My reasons are utter and completely selfish. So, seeing my girlfriends in their second and third trimesters with their hubbies so excited and the new gleam of awe they have for the mother of their children gave me a really weird feeling. Was I depriving my life partner of something? Thankfully he has eased my mind on that one. None the less, the decision to hold off children longer feels a little weird. I know I am not saying no to children, just not yet. It feels almost like drawing a line in the sand on what I will give to my marriage right now and what I will not.

However, my excitement grows as my girlfriends' bellies grow. The girls that I watched Beverly Hills 90210 with, played softball and stayed up late watching movies with, the girls who have comforted me and that I have comforted in return are soon to become nurturers for beautiful, tiny babies. These girls have learned patience and compassion. I have watched them fall in love and grow up from the sorority girls that we were in college. They have fantastic careers, husbands who are completely taken by them and that motherly glow. I can not imagine being more excited than I am now.

So, to all my girlfriends who are mommies now and soon to be mommies, I love you all and I am so blessed to be a part of this phase of new life.

Here is to rattles and diapers:)